


Creep

by buttheyrebrothers



Series: 12 days of Wincestmas [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Pining Sam, Pre-Series, Song Lyrics, Unrequited Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Weechesters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 06:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5529722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttheyrebrothers/pseuds/buttheyrebrothers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being 14 is never easy. You have the hormones and the teenage drama.<br/>Being 14 and a hunter is even less fun. All that moving around, always being the new kid, it sucked.<br/>But nothing ever prepared Sam for being 14, a hunter, and in love with his big brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Creep

Being 14 is never easy. You have the hormones and the teenage drama. Being 14 and a hunter is even less fun. All that moving around, always being the new kid, it sucked.

But nothing ever prepared Sam for being 14, a hunter, and in love with his big brother. He knew that normal was off the table if you were killing werewolves during your summer holiday. But wanting to kiss every freckle on your brother’s body put you right into freak territory.

Those are the thoughts running through Sam’s head in circles, a never ending litany of the ways he is a creep, a weirdo. There is his brother, this beautiful boy who is larger than life and willing to do anything, give anything for him. How selfish can he be to still want more?

Only, there is no way he could help it. It is what it is, another hit in a long list of fucked up songs. So he puts his earplugs in, desperate to distract himself from the temptation riding shotgun beneath their father. It is a tape Julian Anderson has put together for him when they had stayed in Hope, Arkansas for several months. She had been his first girlfriend and he really wished he had been able to love her back. He never had a chance to listen to it before now but really likes the songs she chose for him. Julian deserved better than him. Most people do.

In the front of the car Dean flings back his head in a full-body laughter. The ones he shows less and less the older he gets. Just then the first few accords of another song come on, fitting his mood like a tailored suit. The first lines start.

> _When you were here before_ __  
> Couldn't look you in the eye  
>  You're just like an angel  
>  Your skin makes me cry

His vision is filled with Dean, and how the sun breaks on the window pane to make his hair glow like gold and his skin look like marble. Sam really does want to cry at the sight.

Their father laughs about something Dean says and his big brother’s eyes are filled with love and admiration for the man. Sam sits in the back, invisible.

What is he even doing here?

The new school looks just like all the other ones before and Sam would bet his favorite comic book that the kids here are just the same as well. Their names may change but the dance will still be the same. Sam has started to get tired waiting for someone to change the song. It has been a long time since he last felt like he is in control over his own life, so he just keeps dancing along. What other choice is there?

As he walks down the long corridors full of strangers he spots Dean, who leans against a wall like he is the one holding it upright and not the other way around. The sharp angles of his face cut into Sam’s heart like shards and he wishes for nothing more but to feel the soothing touch of moos green eyes on him. But they are gracing another face, another stranger. Someone still more special than him.

> _I want you to notice_ __  
> When I'm not around  
>  You're so fuckin' special  
>  I wish I was special

He sees them kiss and waits for the pain, but it never comes. There is only cold. Numbness. What did he expect; he is a freak, a weirdo. He doesn’t deserve anything better.

> _Whatever makes you happy_ __  
> Whatever you want  
>  You're so fuckin' special  
>  I wish I was special

He hopes for Dean to find a piece of happiness. His big brother, whose skin would burn him if he ever cared to really see him, to really touch Sam like he means it. The boy underneath. The inconvenience. The ordinary one.

“How’re doing, little brother?”

And there it is. A smile, just for him. An acknowledgment. He may be all those things, creep, weirdo, freak. Nothing special. But there is one thing he is and will never stop being.

Dean’s little brother.

This has to be enough.


End file.
